


Gravity of Your Light

by technostrawberry



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dreams, Dreamwalking, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Strangers to Lovers, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:55:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21574873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/technostrawberry/pseuds/technostrawberry
Summary: San dreams of a boy with blue hair.(aka San dreams, and Yunho is a dreamwalker)
Relationships: Choi San/Jeong Yunho
Comments: 25
Kudos: 125





	Gravity of Your Light

**Author's Note:**

> All aboard the soft yunsan feels trip.

San closes his eyes.

He opens them – and immediately squints against the bright sunlight. He blinks a few times. He can’t help but smile once he realises where he is at, with the familiar sound of the water and the feel of rough sand under his bare feet.

San is at the seaside.

He tilts his head at the sight of someone sitting on the sand and makes to walk closer to the other, leaving a trail of footprints in his path. The boy looks up upon San’s approach and smiles.

“Oh,” San says in lieu of a greeting. “It’s you again.”

The other says nothing, only smiling wider. San sits down next to him. For a while, they sit in comfortable silence, merely enjoying the serenity of the sea together.

“You never ever talk. But it’s ok,” San mumbles. He absent-mindedly draws random shapes in the sand. “It’d be nice to know your name at least, if you had one. And like, I can also stop referring to you as Mr Blue to Wooyoung.”

The boy gives San an amused look, and gestures at his hair as if to ask a question. San bites his lip and nods. San’s pretty sure his own face is burning with embarrassment, or at least it feels that way.

“Yes, it’s because of your blue hair. I mean, I don’t know what else to call you! I can’t be calling you my _dream guy_ or something, that’s…that’s worse!” San whines, and the boy looks like he wants to burst into laughter. He doesn’t. Instead, he stands up and walks closer to the water. Squatting down, he puts his hand to the flat sand and starts making long, deliberate lines. San scrambles to his feet and wanders over to the scene of the new activity. He watches in fascination as the other writes letters to eventually form a word:

Y U N H O

The boy finishes. He stands up and points at the word while looking at San.

“Is that your name?” San asks. The other smiles and nods.

“Yunho. I like that name.”

Yunho is staring straight at San, and then the world suddenly feels like it is fading away. San closes his eyes as everything goes dark in seconds.

_I like yours too, San_

San opens his eyes.

He immediately squints against the bright sunlight streaming in through his bedroom window.

“Dreamt of Mr Blue again and didn’t want to wake up?” Wooyoung teases the moment San enters the store, fifteen minutes late for his shift. San purses his lips and punches Wooyoung on the shoulder. Wooyoung fake throws a pen in retaliation, which results in San making an exaggerated fighting pose, and then they’re both laughing. Wooyoung has been San’s best friend for years, a fact San is grateful for every day. He doesn’t know who else would be willing to stick by San’s side for so long, seeing all his ups and downs over the years and sharing both joy and tears. Now, they’re even both working together at the trendiest bookstore café in town.

“Shut up, or I won’t tell you his name. He told me yesterday,” San states proudly. He’s been updating Wooyoung on every single detail about the guy whom he keeps seeing in his recent dreams for the past couple of weeks.

Wooyoung raises an eyebrow.

“What? I hope your brain didn’t come up with something super weird, like, uhhh…” Wooyoung grabs the nearest publication lying on the counter and flips it open. “Leonardo.”

“First of all, why are you picking a name out of a comic book!? Secondly, what’s wrong with Leonardo? It’s a perfectly valid name—"

“Wait so you’re actually dreaming of a ninja turtle? That explains the blue—"

“NO! He is not a ninja turtle, and his name is Yunho! YUNHO! Not Leonardo! Or Naruto! Or whatever!”

“Those characters aren’t even from the same series.”

“Do you want details or not?” San huffs, pressing his lips into a displeased line.

Wooyoung slams the comic book shut.

“Everything, but first…” Wooyoung gestures at the large carton boxes in the middle of the store. San groans. Wooyoung nods gravely. “Yup. New stock just in.”

Yunho opens his eyes.

He finds himself in a meadow. The grass is lush and green, and covered in an endless blanket of blue-purple violets.

It’s beautiful.

He walks on, grass and dew sticking to his pants as he navigates a path to a person that is lying on their back, basking in the middle of it all. The figure is a familiar one. Yunho squats down beside him.

It’s San. The current position on the ground makes San’s blonde hair fan around his head like a halo. There’s a peaceful expression on his face. The other opens his eyes when he senses Yunho’s presence.

“Good morning,” San says, then smiles up at him. San makes to grab at Yunho’s hand to drag him down, but Yunho skilfully avoids contact, skipping a few steps away and making a big show of widening his eyes and blinking in feigned innocence. San sits up and scrunches his face up in annoyance.

“Yunho, why are you like this. I had a tough day at work. Be nice to me.”

Yunho can’t help grinning. San’s pouts and stands up, dusting his hands off.

“Got a whole load of new stock the past two days. And clumsy me wasn’t careful enough. I got a cut, see?” San raises his left hand to show off a band-aid wrapped around his index finger. Yunho immediately frowns at the sight.

San sighs.

“I know, right? But don’t worry, it wasn’t very deep. It just stings a little bit, but it’ll be fine.”

Yunho walks back to stand right in front of San. When they are facing each other like this, their height difference is more pronounced. Yunho is a good head taller. He slightly bends down now to hold San’s left hand, lifts it up high – and places a gentle kiss right on the band-aid.

The world starts fading away, and Yunho whispers quickly before everything goes dark.

_Good morning, San_

Yunho opens his eyes, and smiles to himself.

“You’ve been smiling to yourself all day,” Hongjoong comments, narrowing his eyes at Yunho.

“Mmm must be something to do with— OW!” Mingi cries out when Yunho kicks him under the table, not very subtly at all.

“Suspicious. Very suspicious.” Hongjoong continues his scrutinising gaze at the blue-haired boy.

“It’s nothing, I’m always smiling, what are you talking about?” Yunho sulks. Hongjoong rises his eyebrows challengingly.

“Tell me about your dream last night then.”

“I didn’t dream.” Yunho folds his arms triumphantly.

“Sorry, excuse me, tell me what happened in the dream you visited then.” Hongjoong grins, and Yunho debates whether to throw a napkin at him.

“You should ask _whose_ dream he keeps visiting,” Mingi adds, not helpfully at all. Yunho throws the napkin at Mingi instead, who sticks a tongue out childishly in response.

“I’m not saying anything,” Yunho states.

“Why does Mingi know and I’m the only one who doesn’t know anything, it’s unfair,” Hongjoong complains. His attention is turned when the waiter arrives at their table with their orders.

“There’s nothing to know,” Yunho declares, and shoots Mingi a glare when it looks like he wants to say something. Fortunately, Mingi closes his mouth back shut and Yunho doesn’t need to put up applications for a new best friend.

San opens his eyes.

The dark sky is filled with dozens of twinkling stars. He’s standing on the rooftop of a building. He walks near the edge and marvels at the view over the city.

For a moment, he isn’t sure if he is awake or dreaming. But then, he hears footsteps behind him, and he turns.

It’s Yunho.

Yunho walks closer to join him where he stands but stops just out of reach. His blue hair looks even paler in this lighting.

“It’s really pretty here,” San comments as he continues admiring the view. He thinks Yunho nods in agreement beside him, but he doesn’t turn to look.

“I miss you. I wish I could see you every day,” San whispers. There is a cold breeze, and he shivers slightly.

He hears some shuffling, and suddenly there’s a pair of arms enveloping him protectively from behind. The world starts fading away to black.

San opens his eyes. He can still feel the warmth of those arms around him, and the lingering words he thinks he heard. It sounded like someone whispering:

_“I miss you too”_

“Wooyoungie, how is it possible for someone so perfect to exist?” San sighs dreamily after he is done telling Wooyoung all the details about his latest dream.

“They don’t, that’s why they only appear in your dreams,” Wooyoung states matter-of-factly. San groans and slumps across the counter. A pile of promotional flyers falls on the floor, which he promptly ignores.

“Yunho is just the perfect boyfriend material. If I could ever meet someone like him in real life, I would be so happy.”

“Keep dreaming,” Wooyoung pat San on the head and snorts.

San opens his eyes.

He is lying in a meadow again, but this time it is filled with red tulips, their brightly coloured heads standing tall and proud in the endless field of green.

He hears someone approaching, and he sits up eagerly. It’s Yunho of course. The other boy stops some distance away once San makes eye contact and gives a small wave. San smiles, and then stands up on the spot.

“Yunho, come here,” San calls out. Yunho tilts his head curiously but obliges, closing the distance between them with a few long strides. He stops just out of reach, as always.

“Why are you always so far away from me?” San complains. Yunho simply gives a small tender smile, which leaves San feeling… _something_ he can’t quite describe.

San sits back on the ground and pats the space next to him, grinning when Yunho accepts and sits down. Today, just like many other prior occasions, San rambles on about the things that happened in his life during the past few days since the last time he dreamt of Yunho, and the other listens patiently, eyes never leaving San’s face.

“I was telling Wooyoungie how I wish a guy like you exists in real life, and he said guys like you only exist in dreams. Sucks, huh,” San muses. Yunho doesn’t say anything; he never does, and San is used to it. He turns and catches Yunho’s fond gaze. He’s mesmerised for a moment at how handsome Yunho is, and then he feels a twinge of sadness in his heart.

“Why can’t you be real?” San whispers. He doesn’t know if he’s imagining it, but he thinks a flash of sadness crosses Yunho’s expression too. The other abruptly turns away to look elsewhere.

San surprises them both when he crawls over on his knees and cups Yunho’s face between his palms. He gently turns the other boy’s head back and presses their foreheads together.

“I like you,” San says, but he isn’t sure if the words managed to make their way out of his mouth before the world starts rapidly fading away.

San wakes up feeling light-headed. He places a hand on his forehead and tries to recall the feeling of Yunho’s skin against his.

“Mingi?” Yunho leans into the bedroom and calls out to his best friend, who is hidden under a thick blanket. He’s staying over at Mingi’s apartment for the weekend.

The blanket grunts in response.

“Mingi, I think I need another job.”

“What’s wrong with your current one?” The blanket ball shifts slightly and Mingi replies in a muffled voice, hoarse from still being sleepy. Yunho sighs and walks in, seating himself on the edge of the bed.

“No, I mean, I need a second job. I need more money.”

“What for?”

At that, the blanket comes off and Mingi turns on his side to stare at Yunho.

“Do you owe someone money or something? Or are you secretly buying drugs?” Mingi asks incredulously.

“No, of course not. It’s just…” Yunho trails off, unsure on how to express his thoughts properly. “I promise it’s nothing illegal.”

“You’re not helping me feel better at all,” Mingi squints at him. Yunho sighs again.

“Ok, I… I just want to go on a trip, ok? So, I need money to travel and buy some stuff. That’s pretty much it.”

Mingi gives him a long, calculating look.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to look for San?”

Guilt crosses Yunho’s face. Mingi frowns and sits up.

“I just…I…I just want to see him. Once. With my own eyes. In reality.”

“You know how wrong this can go. What, you think he’s going to fall in love with you or something? This isn’t a dream.” Mingi coughs, his throat dry. Yunho’s heart sinks at the stinging, but well-meaning reasoning from his best friend.

“And don’t forget. If you ever meet him in real life, you won’t be able to walk into his dreams anymore. Are you ready for that?”

Yunho looks down on the floor. He isn’t sure which is worse: never being able to tell San that he’s real and to always be so near yet so far to him; or to see San once to satisfy his greedy heart but never being to able to meet him in his dreams again, perhaps even potentially being told to get lost in real life for being a creep.

Mingi softens and reaches up to ruffle a hand through Yunho’s hair once he sees how troubled Yunho seems.

“You’re a grown adult, so I’ll trust you to make your own decisions. I think Hongjoong mentioned the other day about his workplace hiring extra help for night shifts. You can decide what you want later. Just promise you’ll be careful.”

“I haven’t dreamt of Yunho for a while,” San laments the moment he turns up for his shift.

“Huh. You don’t dream of him every day anyway, so it’s normal,” Wooyoung replies distractedly while punching figures into a calculator, neatly matching the midday sales numbers. San shakes his head in frustration.

“No, but it’s been three weeks? It’s weird. I usually dream of him at least once every few days?”

“Hmm. I mean, a few months before this you never even dreamt of him before, right? So maybe your mind is just changing to a new phase, and you’ll dream of something else instead,” Wooyoung reasons. He closes the accounts book and slips it back under the counter.

“I’m going for my break now, try not to destroy the shop while I’m gone,” Wooyoung teases, and San rolls his eyes at him. He takes over the spot behind the cashier while Wooyoung slips out through the backroom. There are a lot of customers which keep him occupied, but from time to time his mind wanders to thoughts of a boy with blue hair.

He wonders if he’ll ever see Yunho again.

San is alone on a street he doesn’t know. Everything is dark and quiet, and he feels terrified. Not even the streetlamps are working, and there is no sign of any other life around, whether human or otherwise. Worse still, it is raining.

He quickens his pace. His heart pounds. He is running for what seems like ages, but there is no shelter to be found. The water soaks through his shoes, his clothes, his hair.

“Hello? Anyone?” San calls out uselessly, the sound of the heavy rain drowning out his voice. He wipes away the water from his face – it’s not just raindrops, but tears now. He sinks on the ground and cries, exhausted from running.

He doesn’t know how long it is, but he suddenly sees a person running towards him. San scrubs at his eyes with the back of his hands. For a split-second San thinks he sees a glimpse of blue.

But the world has already started fading to black.

San wakes up right before the person can reach him. The tears are streaming all over his face and soaking into his pillow. He’s shaking and crying while he blindly feels around for his mobile phone on the bed-stand.

_“Hello? San? It’s late, why are you calling?”_

San doesn’t know what time it is. He just knows he needs to let it out.

“Wooyoungie. I had a nightmare. I-I don’t know if that’s a sign or something. I miss him. Wooyoungie, I miss Yunho so, so much.” San doesn’t know how he manages to sob the words out. He hears Wooyoung shuffling on the other side of the line, probably moving in his own bed.

_“Oh no. Sanie, breathe for me ok? You can keep talking, I’m listening.”_

“I haven’t seen him for two months now. It’s strange to miss an imaginary person, huh.”

_“It’s not strange. You knew him, at least in your dreams. And he brought you so much comfort just by existing in your life. He’s important to you, and that makes him real to you.”_

“I wish I could see him again. I wish I didn’t have to depend on random dreams to find him. It hurts. It hurts so much, Wooyoung. How can I feel so heartbroken over someone I’ve never met?”

_“I don’t know, Sanie. Not everything in life has a simple explanation.”_

“Will he ever come back?”

_“I don’t know how to answer that, San. I wish I knew.”_

“You’re really sure about your decision?” Mingi asks.

“Yes.”

San opens his eyes and recognises the place instantly.

San is at the seaside again.

The sand feels rough beneath his bare feet, and the sun is hotter than usual, but he doesn’t notice any of it. He only notices the boy with blue hair standing at the edge of the water.

“Yunho!” San screams out. The boy turns to face him. It is nearly three months now since he’s last seen the other, but San would never forget that face.

“Yunho!” San shouts again and clumsily jogs over to him, hesitantly stopping just a few feet away. Yunho responds with a small smile in his direction.

“Why did you go away? Where have you been?” San can’t help yelling, and then the tears start falling. “I missed you. I missed you so much.”

Yunho face looks pained, but as usual he says nothing. San sobs harder.

“Is it because of the last time I said I liked you? Did you go away because of that?”

Yunho shakes his head vigorously. Before San can say anything, Yunho has strode over and pulled him close into a tight hug. The world starts fading away.

“No…no…not yet…” San cries harder into Yunho’s chest, but it’s already dark.

When San wakes up, he is sure he heard a voice as clear as anything say:

_“I’m sorry”_

Yunho stares at the building across the street, trying his best to peer through the glass of the main door. He could probably get a better view if he was closer, but he doesn’t cross over. He’s convinced himself standing here at this distance like this should be enough.

If he uses his full height, he can see the main counter from a certain angle. He wonders if he has the correct address – and then he sees him.

San is behind the cashier, looking slightly exhausted but with a wide smile on his face as he serves a customer. Yunho feels his heart leap upon seeing him, but also the bitter realisation that this is the end.

He can never meet San in his dreams ever again.

He stares and soaks in every detail of the boy he’s fallen for, trying to memorise the way his eyes light up when they smile, the way he diligently packs purchases, the way he waves goodbye as the customer leaves the shop—

And then suddenly he makes eye contact with San through the open door.

Yunho freezes. San moves like the speed of light to burst out of the shop, and then they’re both having a stare-off across the street. Yunho wants to run. He _should_ run. But he doesn’t, and San ends up crossing the street in seconds, stopping right in front of him.

“Yunho?” San is staring up at his face with a mixture of shock, disbelief and hope. His voice sounds exactly as all the dreams they’ve shared.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. San wasn’t supposed to know he exists. Yunho had planned on leaving forever, hoping that San would eventually forget about his dreams and find someone else who could be there for him in real life – he deserved better.

Yunho quickly turns to run away, but a firm hand on his arm stops him in his tracks.

“Tell me this isn’t a dream, and that you’re actually real,” San whispers.

“I…I just wanted to see you once and satisfy my selfishness. I’m sorry. I’ll be leaving now. You won’t ever see me again,” Yunho mumbles. He tries to pry San’s fingers off his arm, but the grip only tightens.

“Why? Why are you leaving me? Right after I’ve found you?” San’s voice trembles, and Yunho’s heart breaks.

“I didn’t want to ruin your impression of me. I thought it’d be better to just leave your dreams as a nice memory to you.” Yunho doesn’t know what to say beyond that.

“But I, I have so many questions for you. This is the first time I’m hearing your voice. And you’re real. You’re really here.” Yunho is weak to resist when San makes him turn to face him, and then the other boy is cupping Yunho’s face in his hands like he had done once upon a dream.

Yunho also doesn’t resist when San tiptoes to make their lips meet in a soft, sweet kiss.

“I love you,” San breathes out once the kiss breaks.

“I love you too,” Yunho replies, and this time he bends down to meet their lips again in a deeper, more passionate kiss.

They don’t notice the sound of Wooyoung’s voice calling from inside the store.

“San, why aren’t you at the cashier? Where are you— AH! Never mind, explain this to me later.”

San doesn’t dream of a boy with blue hair anymore.

When San wakes up, the boy of his dreams is holding him close in bed, blue hair sticking in every direction messily. Yunho smiles sleepily when he sees San looking at him.

“Finally awake?” Yunho says, before craning his head down to place a kiss on San’s forehead. San giggles and tries to cuddle even closer to the other. He shifts upward until he ends up face to face with Yunho, and then presses their foreheads together.

Yunho’s skin feels warm against his.

San kisses him on the lips, again and again. When he opens his eyes, Yunho is still there.

He doesn’t need dreams when reality is better.

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to “Light” for extra feels mood. Hope you all enjoyed this!!


End file.
